2011 In Review

After reading Erin's review post, I wanted to do the same. 2011 was a pretty good year for me.

JANUARY
STUDENT TEACHING FIASCO: Two days before we are supposed to start student teaching, about 10 of us still haven't heard where we'll be student teaching. Luckily the great Snowpocalypse of 2011 struck, and we weren't allowed to start on time. I finally heard about my placement: back at DMS with a 7th grade life science teacher. I didn't particularly want life science, especially since another girl was placed in an earth science class like I wanted, but it all worked out. I was a bit intimidated when I got to my classroom, but I liked the kids and loved my mentor.

FEBRUARY
2 YEARS DOWN THE DRAIN: After my breakup with Rylan, my depression got much worse. Zoloft became my best friend. I eventually weaned myself off of it, and I was so happy to have control over that. However, after a few weeks with my kids, I fell back down that hole. I felt like such a failure. It's nothing to be ashamed of, but I was not thrilled to have to go back on my medication. Ever since then, I've gradually gone from 25mg to 100mg. The life of a middle school teacher...

MARCH
SBXI: I went on my first and last official spring break. I went to Destin with Katie, Jenny, and Emily. It was the greatest trip of my life. SO much fun! We stayed with Katie's grandparents, so all we had to pay for was gas and food. So many great memories were made on that trip.

APRIL
SO CLOSE TO THE END: Nothing super eventful happened in April. Student teaching came to a close [thank GOD, because I was losing my mind] and I started looking for jobs. I went to a critical needs job fair [math, science, and special education] and met a principal who offered me a long-term sub position that day. It ended up not working out because my paperwork didn't process quickly enough, but it ended up being my foot in the door. I also had my last week of classes with my cohort. I cried so much on that last day. That's my family, and I'm not going to see them altogether like that again. I made it all the way to the end of the last day, but when I hugged Dr. A, I lost it. Then when I hugged Gretchen, I lost it again. Two years with these people. I miss them.

MAY
GRADUATION: I am officially a graduate of The University of Georgia. Five years later. I got to walk across the stage [twice.. I was a little over-excited and went too early the first time lol] and shake hands with my teachers. I also got to go onto the field in Sanford Stadium and stand with my cohort in my official graduation. And then proceeded to take off my shoes and walk across campus to our car.

EMPLOYMENT: Just before graduation, I got a call from the principal that I interviewed with at the critical needs job fair in April, asking if I wanted to come in for an interview. I said, "YES! I can be there in 45 minutes!" His secretary was amused. We set up an interview time. I went in for the interview and thought it went well. A week later, the Science AP called me and offered me the job, which I immediately accepted! Two weeks after graduation, I am officially employed. Such a blessing.

JUNE
AWKWARD TURTLE: I had a date with a great guy. The date wasn't great, and apparently he was more into it than I was, so it was hard to tell him that I didn't want another date. Things were awkward for a few days, but luckily we've gotten back to the old friendship we had. I nearly had another date with a cool guy, but he ended up bailing on asking me out, so whatevs.

BAHAMAS: We took a family cruise to the Bahamas. It was great. I had a great time, though it was hard at times to not have anyone to hang out with. I hung out with my parents, but I felt like I was interfering with their alone time. I hung out with my brother and his friend.. but who wants their older sister messing up their fun times? But it still ended up being great. And if anyone goes on a cruise where there is a QUEST adventure, DO IT. Single-handedly the best part of the vacation. I have NEVER laughed so hard in my LIFE.

JULY
GOODBYE TRU, HELLO NEW LIFE: I finished up my life at Toys R Us and began my new career as a teacher. I have to say that I don't miss TRU at all. I miss a few of the people, but the important ones I still keep up with.

AUGUST
FIRST YEAR SPARTAN: My first month was rough. I didn't know if I could do it. But I had no choice but to continue. Things gradually got a bit better. Reading back through my blog, it's amazing how far I've come. My favorite part was getting my first paycheck and going out to celebrate with the other first year teachers.

SEPTEMBER
DETENTION BONANZA: I gave out more detentions in this month than all other months combined. Pretty sure I've given out the most for our grade level. But I was so over my kids that I don't even care.

OCTOBER
RED RIBBON WEEK: I enjoyed dressing up for Red Ribbon Week. My kids have learned that I will do anything for school spirit.

NOVEMBER
ALMOST DONE: Thanksgiving break was SO needed. I also took my first personal day before my birthday. I never take days off, so it was great. Also my memory is slightly failing now that I have 120 kids to watch out for. So, sorry this is boring.

DECEMBER
FINISHED: I made it through my first semester. I don't know how I did it. But I did! Thanks to everyone who supported me along the way. Also, this month I've struggled with some personal stuff. I'm a little too overwhelmed and lonely. And paranoid. But I'm working on it. So here's to fixing that in 2012.

Read more...

Ten on Tuesday

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted! It's been a busy few months for me. I have been posting regularly at my blog about my first year of teacher, First Year Spartan, if you want to check it out.

For now, I'll leave you with the 10onTuesday:

1. What do you do for a living? I'm a middle school science teacher.
2. What’s your favorite thing about your job? Summers off! haha JUST KIDDING. I love being around these kids. Sure, 98% of the time they drive me bananas, but I love them 100% of the time!
3. What’s your least favorite thing about your job? Honestly, the lack of pay. The big-wigs make the big bucks.. and they make stupid decisions like merit-based pay. Don't they understand that all that will do is lead to the ATL scandal in EVERY SCHOOL IN THE STATE??? Obviously not...
4. If you weren’t a ____________, what would you be? I have no idea. I'm not good at too much else. I could see myself being someone's assistant, a secretary or something. I love being behind the scenes, and I love helping people out however I can.
5. What is something that you would love to get paid for that you think no one would every pay you for? Judging someone's character. 99% of the time, I am completely accurate with my first impression of someone. I can count on one hand how many times I've been SO wrong about someone. No exaggeration.
6. If you could have any job for exactly one day, what would it be? Peyton Manning's shirt ;]
7. If you had to do manual labor, what would you do? I'm not good with my hands, so nothing related to construction. I'm good with picking up heavy things, so maybe moving boxes or unloading trucks or something?
8. What is something you were forced to learn in high school that was supposed to be super important, but you never actually use? FREAKIN' MLA FORMAT!!!!!!!!!!! We are *DRILLED* on MLA throughout high school, then I get to college and we've switched to APA. What a load of crap.
9. Who was your favorite boss? Why? Derek. Because he let me get away with whatever the heck I wanted.
10. Where would you rather work: Dunder Mifflin Paper Company (The Office), Wernham Hogg Paper Company (The Office, UK), or Initech (Office Space)? INITECH. Office Space FTW!

Read more...

Ten on Tuesday

10onTUESDAY

1. What colour are your toenails painted? teal with flowers on the big toes
2. What colour are your fingernails painted? teal
3. What is your favourite brand of nail polish? OPI
4. As the norm, do you DIY your nails or get mani/pedis? DIY
5. Have you ever had a gel mani? Do you recommend it? I haven't, but my mom and sister have, and they LOVE them
6. What is the last movie you watched on television? (TV, Netflix, Redbox, etc.) Casino Royale
7. What is the last movie you watched in the cinema? HP 7.2
8. Is there a movie that everyone talks about as if it is a classic but you haven’t seen? The Godfather
9. What is your favourite movie soundtrack? ooh tough one. um.. for a musical: RENT. for a non-musical: A Walk To Remember
10. Have you ever seen a movie and thought it was better than the book it was based on? I actually liked the movie A Walk To Remember better than the book.


In other news, I set up a new teacher blog! Check it out: First Year Spartan

Read more...

Ten on Tuesday

Ten On Tuesday: Perfection

1. What’s the perfect meal? anything full of carbs. my favorite meal is grilled salmon, macaroni and cheese, green beans, and apple pie a la mode for dessert.
2. What are the perfect pair of shoes? flip flops. or a comfy pair of running shoes. but mostly flip flops.
3. What is the perfect afternoon? hanging out with friends, doing anything, anywhere.
4. What’s the perfect house? two stories, stones on the front, little alcove on the second floor where I can sit and read, wrap-around porch, light greens and blues inside accented with salmon and light orange. black appliances, dark espresso cabinets, silver accents.
5. What is the perfect outfit? I am currently into dresses with belts, but my all-time favorite outfit is a long-sleeved t-shirt and  running shorts.
6. What’s the perfect wedding song? ooh tough one. my comedian side wants to say "Tootsie Roll" because it's an inside joke with my best friend, but my favorite sweet song is "The Way You Look" -- I've told my friends that I won't say yes to a proposal until a guy asks me to dance to this song.
7. What is the perfect job? anything where I can work with kids. especially when I can work with autistic kids. it makes my heart soar!
8. What’s the perfect hairstyle? I love this style. long side-swept bangs, side part, soft waves.. I WISH MY HAIR DID THIS!

9. What’s the perfect music festival? um, a little bit of everything? I'm currently super obsessed with 90s music, so probably a melting pot of 90s artists

10. What’s the perfect day to yourself? a perfect day to myself would include other people. I absolutely hate being alone. I like to be around people!


I'm late getting pictures from my trip posted, but I still haven't gotten them from Mom's computer. It will happen eventually. Also, I'm thinking about making the switch back to Wordpress because I miss it. But we shall see. For now, I'll share that I'm obsessed with Bones and have quickly made my way through season 1. Can't wait to catch up through the most recent season, which apparently had *quite* the season finale... EEK!

Read more...

playing catch up

Ten On Tuesday::

1. How do you pronounce the word aunt? Does your pronunciation rhyme with ‘haunt’ or ‘can’t'? I rhyme with "can't"
2. Do most of the people in your life know you blog? Or are you partially or totally anonymous? no, most people don't know that I blog. it's mostly for me, to record my thoughts and memories since I don't like to journal
3. When you grocery shop, do you prefer to bag your own groceries or do you like it when the store bags them for you? Paper, plastic, or reusable bags? I prefer to bag myself, and I use reusable bags when I can
4. Do you have a green thumb? not at all
5. If you watch the Food Network, which chef/show host is your favorite? I don't watch it a lot.. I mostly watch Cupcake Wars
6. Do you like to take baths? Do you take them very often? no, I hate baths. I know that makes me not-a-girl, but I'd rather shower quickly than sit in a bathtub
7. What color are the walls in your kitchen? I think they're yellow? I'm not sure
8. Do you prefer to dine outdoors or indoors? if it's not insanely hot, I'd rather sit outside
9. Describe your ideal weather. sunny, COOL, with a light breeze. any weather where I can wear a long sleeved shirt and shorts is perfection
10. If you could learn any foreign language, which would you choose to learn? I know spanish, and I'd like to know it fluently. but I'd love to learn italian too


Friday Five - Random!
1. have you ever really lived outside the country of your birth? why or why not? no, because dad's job has always been in the southeast USA
2. what was your first record/cassette tape/cd? the first one I got was a NKOTB tape and a Hanson cd. the first one I bought was the first *NSYNC cd. I had several disney tapes as well.
3. what do you think of your parents? we have a rollercoaster relationship. most of the time we're okay, and I respect all that they've been through. 24 years together, overcoming serious obstacles, and they are more in love with each other every day.
4. what is your relationship with your hair? pretty much hate-hate. it's too thin. so it doesn't do anything fun. it won't stay straight, but if I try to curl it, even if I put BOTTLES of hairspray in it, it won't stay. so frustrating.
5. what kind of pens do you like? I like fine or medium pens with black ink.


I will be posting about our cruise later today/tomorrow. We're spending time with family this morning/afternoon, so I can post pictures and all that later!

Read more...

Ten On Tuesday

1. What type of phone do you have? Do you like it? I just got an iPhone 4, and I LOVE it!
2. How old were you when you got your first cell phone? I got my first phone for my 15th birthday, when I started being able to drive and going places with friends.
3. How many cell phones have you owned since your first? umm... 7? which seems like too many because I've kept them until I could upgrade, with the exception of my pink Motorola Razr [graduation present] and iPhone 3 [my Samsung stopped working, so I got Mom's old phone]
4. How much is your average monthly phone bill? we're on a family plan, so mine is $25.
5. When you were a kid/teenager, were you allowed to have a phone in your room? I had one for awhile, but I rarely used it. I didn't have my own line or anything.
6. Do you like talking on the phone or do you despise it? Or somewhere in-between? I CAN'T STAND IT. unless I'm talking to a certain person. but usually I hate it.
7. Do you text a lot? Is texting/talking while driving illegal where you live? Are you guilty of it anyway? I text ALL the time. Texting while driving is illegal [talking while driving is not] and I don't do it unless my car is stopped [though I will read texts while driving]
8. What sort of texting keyboard does your phone have? Touch screen, slide out, or something different? Do you care? mine is touch screen now, and I like it, but I miss my slide out keyboard. I tend to not pick up my fingers when I text, so I often miss letters on my touch screen.
9. Look at the last call in your call log – who is it? What were they calling about? Who calls you the most? Mom called to make sure that I had closed the garage door. Lately Mercedes calls me the most.
10. What is the longest phone call you can recall having? Um... probably between one and two hours? I don't know. I don't usually talk that long.

Read more...

Awkward Turtle

So I had a date tonight. two words to describe it? Awkward. Turtle. But before I get to that, it's FRIDAY FIVE time!
Comics:
1. What is your favourite movie based on a comic book? gotta go with Batman here. any/all of them, but particularly the Christian Bale ones
2. What comic book superhero's powers would you like to have, and why? I have always wanted to be able to hear other people's thoughts.. but I think I'd have to go with Mystique's ability to change her form constantly
3. Who do you think is the best dressed comic book villain? I've always been a fan of Joker's attire
4. Who do you think is the best comic hero's sidekick? I can't think of any good sidekicks. In fact, I can't think of any sidekicks other than Robin
5. Which comic superhero would you most like to see destroyed by their archnemesis? Spiderman I guess? I dunno. that's a tough one.

So I went on a date with this guy from work tonight. It ended up being a fun night.. but not date-like. I got Merce to help me pick out an outfit: dark jeans, dusty rose shirt, ballet flats. I was WAY underdressed. He wore black pants and a nice button-down shirt. Awkward moment number one. We went to this italian place near my house, which has amazing food. Within the first few minutes, I felt like we'd run out of unique conversation. There just wasn't a spark there. I felt like I was out with a friend, but we should've been in t-shirts at someone's house or something. He's such a sweet guy, but I'm just not into him like that.

However, I might end up going on a date with this guy that I met last night. He's one of Mercedes's close friends from high school. A group of us went bowling last night for college night [Mercedes, me, Justin {the guy}, John, Brandon, Kris, Sean, Joanne, and Anthony]. There was a dramatic incident involving a drunk lady who swore up and down that John broke her professional bowling ball when he didn't even touch it after she told him that it was her, not the alley's. But Justin and I talked throughout the night about different things, and afterwards he told Mercedes that he wanted to get to know me better. A few of us ended up going to Taco Mac afterwards, so he came with us. Apparently he told Mercedes later that night that he definitely wanted to hang out with me again :] did I mention that he has a humongous national championship ring from Shorter University with another ring on the way? athlete = sexy. so hopefully he'll get in touch with me soon :D

Read more...

Ten On Tuesday

1. From your childhood, what do you miss most about summer vacation? I miss being able to play with my friends allllllll day every day.
2. Are you going anywhere on vacation this summer? BAHAMAS!!!!!
3. What foods do you like to barbecue? anything! chicken, pork, hotdogs... anything.
4. How do you celebrate the fourth of July? usually we hang out with our neighbors and shoot off some fireworks and grill out and all
5. What’s your favorite beverage to drink in the summertime? cherry coke or any frozen drink
6. What movie are you looking forward to seeing this summer? HARRY POTTER 7.2!!!!!!
7. In the car: windows down or AC? windows down, sunroof back!
8. Have you ever had a summer fling? no
9. Do you wear sunscreen? I do now. I didn't as a child.
10. Do you have any favorite summertime activities? baseball games, swim meets, hanging out with friends, grilling out, going to the lake, Six Flags, road trips.. summer is so much fun.

Read more...

Life is coming together quite nicely...

Friday Five! I haven't done this in AGES!!
Cooking Ingredients

1. What is your favorite condiment? ketchup
   
2. What is your favorite spice? I don't particularly like spices
   
3. What is your favorite cooking oil? (Canola oil, sesame oil, butter, etc) olive oil
   
4. What is your favorite starchy food? (Bread, rice, potatoes, noodles, etc) mac & cheese
   
5. What is your favorite flavor for candy? generally it's cherry, but lately I've been obsessed with blue raspberry

So, ladies and gentlemen... I have a job. A real teaching job. I'll be teaching 7th grade [life] science at a middle school in my county, so I'm really excited. I had an interview last Thursday, and they called me on Wednesday and said that they wanted me! The AP that I talked to is actually the mom of one of my sorority sisters! Small world! So she gave me a great recommendation :D thanks Kristen! I have to wait for the county to approve my position, then I'll start the paperwork to get started! I'm hoping to end up in another grade [earth or physical science] in later years, but I do have recent practice teaching life science as well as tons of resources! I haven't ever dissected a frog.. literally ever. So that will be interesting. But I'm very excited! I felt very at home when I walked into the school, and I'm very excited to be a part of that school. Can't WAIT to get spirit wear and support my school!

Brother graduated from high school on Friday night. We were literally waiting until the last minute to find out if he'd make it. He had a 35 in calc at the midpoint, and if he didn't get a 70, he wouldn't graduate. He worked his butt off and pulled it up to a 72 with only the final left. He ended up making an 80 [!!!] on the final, so he PASSED. Watching him walk was incredible. I didn't know I could be so proud. It was a great day.

I'm going to Mercedes's house later for the race. We're picking drivers at 12. Her mom actually told her to invite me over! I wasn't sure that she liked me, but I guess I was wrong!  We'll probably swim later too. I've gotta go shower and maybe pick something up even though she said I don't need to bring anything but myself.

Read more...

Ten on Tuesday

1. Have you ever used Craigslist? yes, to get my amazingly comfortable futon before sophomore year
2. Can you sew? no, but I can stitch up the back of a bear!
3. Do you pour syrup on your pancakes or dip your pancakes in the syrup? both
4. Rain storms: Love them or hate them? used to hate them, now I love them. one of the things on my bucket list is to kiss someone in the rain. I also kind of want to get married in the rain
5. Do you like swimming? yes
6. What kind of drink do you order at Sonic? depends on my mood. either a cherry coke, cherry sprite, or green apple slushie
7. Are you funny? I like to think so.. people always laugh when I say things, but they could be laughing *at* me.. apparently I talk funny?
8. At what age will your kids get cell phones? I'll probably get them one of those cell phones that can only call certain numbers as soon as they start going to places with friends, like 11-12? then a real cell phone when they start driving
9. What’s your favorite vegetable? green beans
10. Were you a Girl Scout? Mom says I did brownies, but I don't have ANY recollection of that. and my memory is amazing. so I'ma go with no.

I've been doing Jillian's 30 Day Shred to lose weight before our cruise to the Bahamas, and it's amazing. I highly recommend it for anyone wanting to lose weight or tone up without spending a lot of time. It's 20 minutes, but it's intense. SO worth it. I was so sore the first time, but now I'm getting used to it and it isn't nearly as bad.

Read more...

so close, and yet so far

I really need something that doesn't seriously require me to think, so I'm gonna do some quizzes from Facebook :]
Answer True or False

Q: Kissed someone on your friends list? false

Q: Been arrested? false

Q: Do you like someone? false

Q: Held a snake? false

Q: Been suspended from school? false

Q: Sang karaoke? true!!

Q: Done something you told yourself you wouldn't do? true

Q: Laughed until you started crying? true

Q: Caught a snowflake on your tongue? true

Q: Kissed in the rain? false

Q: Sang in the shower? true

Q: Sat on a roof top? false

Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? true

Q: Broken a bone? false -knock on wood-

Q: Shaved your head? false

Q: Played a prank on someone? true

Q: Shot a gun? true

Q: Donated Blood? false


LAST PERSON:

1. You hung out with? April, Sara, Katie, Valerie, Daniel, Jake, Lauren
2. You texted? Jenna
3. You were in a car with? Jenna
4. Went to the movies with? oh man. umm I think Alysha? we saw the new Narnia movie awhile back.. I think that was the last time I went.
5. Person you went to shop with? Katie, Jenny, and Emily
6. You talked on the phone? Mom
7. Made you laugh? April
8. You hugged? Mrs. Elizabeth

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
1. Sun or moon? moon
2. Winter or Fall? fall
3. Left or Right? left
4. Sunny or rainy? sunny
5. Where do you live? Georgia
6. Club or pub? club
7. Are there 1 or 2 people who you can always trust and rely on? yes
8. Do you want to get married? yes
9. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? cut
10. What time is it? 10:56PM
11. Are you afraid of commitment? not at all
12. What is your greatest hope/wish? I want to find someone who loves me for me, unconditionally, forever
13. Do you cook? I bake, and I cook a bit
14. Current mood? relieved


IN THE LAST 48 HOURS HAVE YOU:1. Kissed someone? no
2. Sang? yes
3. Listened to music? yes
4. Danced Crazy? no
5. Cried? no
6. Liked someone you can't have? no

25 FIRSTS
1.Who was your first prom date? technically nobody, but I went with Abby and Whitney
2. Who was your first roommate? Liz
3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink when you got drunk the first time? haven't been drunk
4. What was your first work-study job? haven't had one
6. When did you go to your first funeral and viewing? 7th grade
7. Who was your first grade teacher? Ms Stiller
9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? Memphis
10. When you snuck out of your house for the first time? I don't think I ever have
11. Who was your first best friend? Scarlett
12. Who was your first Best Friend in high school? Tricia
13. Where was your first sleepover? Scarlett's
14. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? usually Katie, Alysha, or Melissa [depending on the situation]
15. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a Bridesmaid or groomsman? I was a flower girl in my aunt's wedding, but I'll be a bridesmaid for the first time on April 22nd!
16. What's the first thing you did when you got up this morning? took a shower
17. What was the first concert you went to? Reba McEntire/John Michael Montgomery
18. What was the last concert you went to? can't remember, but I'm going to BON JOVI on May 14th!
19. First tattoo or piercing? ears pierced in 2nd grade
20. First celebrity crush? Leo Dicaprio I think
21. Current celebrity crush? Ian Somerhalder
22. First crush? Andrew Slugg
23. Current crush? nobody
24. First date? went to Varsity to eat and then to see Alysha in Cinderella in Atlanta
25. First time you tied your shoe laces? kindergarten maybe?

Six names you go by:
1. Lynn
2. Lobster
[that's it]

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. Dacula Falcons t-shirt
2. pink and black plaid pjs
3. black cami

Three things you want very badly at the moment:
1. A TEACHING JOB
2. a vacation
3. money

Two things you did last night:
1. went to Transmet with some of my FAVORITE people
2. listened to a panel of beginning teachers give us tips on our first year

Two things you ate today:
1. CFA chicken biscuit
2. bacon-wrapped steak

Two people you last talked to on the phone:
1. Mom
2. Jenna

Three things you are going to do tomorrow:
1. work
2. sleep
3. relax

Two longest car rides:
1. drive to Chattanooga [we'll be on 75 for the rest of our liiiiiiiiiiiives] for Collin's knighting ceremony
2. trip from Albany to Memphis the first time.. missed exit + traffic = 4 hour delay

Favorite beverages:
1. cherry coke
2. mello yello
3. raspberry daiquiri

Read more...

countdown: 14 days!

14 days of student teaching left. I am so STOKED. I can't even describe it! I am ready to be done with this and done with classes and GRADUATE ALREADY. My victory lap quickly got old about halfway through our less-than-stellar football season.. but yeah.

I'm starting my unit, and it's going really well so far. I feel so much more comfortable in the classroom than I did last semester, which is a sign that I'm heading down the right path for me.

I went on my first [and last] ever Spring Break trip last week. I will blog about it [along with pictures] sometime soon, hopefully this weekend. I've gotta work on my unit for now, but I wanted to update since it's been a month. Student teaching doesn't allow for much "fun-time" haha I'll also try to finish the 30 Day Challenge soon.. it took a back-burner once teaching started. But I'll finish it soon! Once student teaching gives me my life back..

Read more...

2 years down the drain..

So, many of you know this, many of you don't, so here goes.

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for several years. Since I was a teenager, I've dealt with this, though it wasn't diagnosed until my freshman year of college. Depression runs in my family, but my mom didn't want me on any medication until I was out of my teens since there are so many hormones running a muck then. I was on Zoloft until Rylan and I broke up, then the medicine wasn't working as well, so we tried something new.

Note to self: NEVER go on Prozac again. I had the WORST panic attack of my life. Every year, Steph has a New Years party, and that year, it was just the girls and Collin. The girls spent the night, and the next morning, I just felt this intense need to go home. I got home, walked in the door, and fell on the floor crying. Not just crying, SOBBING. I've never cried like that in my life. And I couldn't stop. My dad was freaking out. So the next day, I went straight to the doctor to try to figure out what to do next.

I ended up back on Zoloft, eventually, and I was on it consistently for another year and half. I didn't like the way it messed up my sleep patterns, so I weaned myself off of it on a trial basis. Things were going well, so I tried throughout the summer, and things were fine. So I've been off of it ever since.

But three weeks with the 7th graders from hell have set me back two years. I haven't taken any meds for this since May 2009, and I'm so frustrated. I've had an AWFUL week. Tuesday afternoon, the minute the kids were out of the room, I laid my head on my desk and started sobbing. Jennifer, the language arts teacher, walked through my room and saw me, and she stopped like "do I say something or do I let her cry?"

I managed to pull myself together after a few minutes, but not before everyone and their MOM saw me cry. Including Sean. Guys don't handle tears well haha When I got home that evening, I started crying again when I tried to tell my mom about my day, and I decided that I needed to go back to the doctor. Mom gave me some of her Zoloft until I get to go to the doctor.

It's crazy how much of a difference a 25mg pill makes. The past two days have been a 180degree turnaround from Monday and Tuesday. Erin stopped me in the hall today and we talked for a few moments. I like my mentor teacher, but Erin and I just click in an entirely different way. I can't wait until I get to go observe her. She is awesome.

But anyways. Student teaching is so exhausting. I wake up, go to school, come home, and crash. Sometimes I work inbetween the school and the coming home. Exhausting doesn't begin to describe it. These kids don't help either. But, as everyone keeps telling me, it's gotta get better from here. It can't get much worse.

Read more...

10 o'clock bedtime

I.

Am.

Exhausted.

That is all.

Read more...

student teaching finally begins!

first, let me preface this by saying, I'm sorry for the lack of capitalization and possibly grammar. it's an email I typed to a friend who is student teaching at the same school, and I get lazy in non-formal emails, and I'm too exhausted to fix it to be a proper blog post. the things in italics are things I'm adding for ya'll.

-----------------------------

so. lemme just tell you about my ridiculous day.

started off by waking up late {7:45, had to be there for an 8:15 meeting} [oh, and left my lunch that I'd made at home on the counter.. at least I had some cash!]. then sat through that super depressing meeting {about budget cuts at the school} but we're gonna get jobs, so let's not think about it anymore lol

went to class, met a student who apparently is one of the big problem kids. my team gives out citations before giving out steps. 3 citations = 1 step. he's on step #4. not good. {students get 3 steps before a referral to an administrator}

I had to yell at my class for the first time today. my mentor teacher stepped out into the hall to deal with a student, and the class went crazy. I told them to settle down and told specific students to sit down, but nobody was listening. then the class started yelling at the student that I'd told to sit down, so then I told them forcefully to let me handle it. that shut everyone up. then I told the kid to sit again, and he wouldn't. so I stood up, looked him straight in the eye, pointed at his seat, and said "SIT. DOWN. NOW." and he plopped down. and I felt terrible. I'm just not used to that yet. I know we have to, but I don't like it.

anyways, we played with mirrors in class today, and some of our kids were acting up and had to go out into the hall. they came back in for a few minutes, then classes changed. turns out that one kid had stolen one of the small mirrors. he has a history of stealing things from these teachers. THEN he went to Mr. S's class, and long story short, he ended up cutting himself up his arm. not super severely, but still. and we found out later that day that he had pretended to cut himself in the same place with a pen at first, but that teacher didn't see any marks so she just told him to stop holding his pen like that.

my teacher stopped this student on his way to the bus and asked him if he had stolen the mirror. he said no. lied STRAIGHT TO HER FACE! then she asked to see his arms, so he had to roll up his sleeves and we saw a few minor cuts that *could* be attributed to a cat or an awkward paper cut or something.. but it wasn't. so we went back to my teacher's room and were talking with the rest of the team, and Mr. S says that he thinks that he saw the kid throw the mirror away, so he went to check and found the mirror in the trash. so we collected it as evidence to show the 7th grade counselor on Monday.

GAH. It was unreal.

OH. and this has nothing to do with my team, but apparently a teacher found a 7th grade girl in the bathroom with a thermos full of some super strong vodka. what the heck? 7th grade!

also, this was the kicker. there's another student who has been absent since before Christmas break. he has SEVERAL absences from throughout the year, so Mr. S finally called the kid's mom today to see if he was sick or they'd suddenly moved or something that would've caused the kid to miss school. All this time, she thought that he'd been going to school. He'd been leaving like he was going to school, coming home at the right time, WRITING IN HIS AGENDA AND SHOWING HER so she thought he had all of his assignments.. so Mr. S said something about how the only excused absences he had on record was from a week that he missed last semester. He excused the absence since he had gotten the email from her.

"what email from me?"

the kid hacked her email account and emailed an excuse note to Mr. S! OH MY GOSH. where do these kids learn this?!

but here's the best part. the mom said that she would deal with the kid, but "my husband got tickets for the Blue Man Group tonight, so I'm gonna play dumb tonight and deal with it tomorrow."

give that woman a prize! what great parenting. wow. Mr. S told us that, and we all just dropped our jaws. unREAL. wow.

I am still in shock. but despite all of that, I still had a good day. is that crazy?

oh, the life of a middle school teacher.
-------------------

Also, I found out that my granddad has been in the hospital all day. He fell and hit his knee at work, which they think somehow pulled some muscles in his heart or something? he was reporting chest pains, but the EKG showed no signs of heart attack or anything, which is a huge blessing. His knee is pretty messed up though. but at least he's safe. but pray for a quick recovery. this is the last thing he needs right now.

What a day. I'm exhausted. It's only 7, but I'm seriously considering heading to bed. I'm so tired.

2 days down, 58 to go.

Read more...

30 Day Challenge: Day 26

Day 26: A Picture Of Your Family

I'll do the most recent pictures, which I may or may not have shared already. We took pictures over Thanksgiving break, and these are my favorites:

my family is crazy. but I love them.

Read more...

30 Day Challenge: Day 25

Day 25: iPod Shuffle

Warning: this will probably be an incredibly varied shuffle. my musical taste is quite eclectic.

1. Crank That Soulja Boy - Soulja Boy
   the shuffle WOULD start off with something like this. appropriate, since it's my guilty pleasure genre of music.
2. God Is In This Place - Plus One
   crankin' it old school. I def saw them in concert once.. so amazing. this was the song they dedicated to the guys in the audience [it was WinterJam, so it wasn't a specifically Plus One concert] who hated boy bands.
3. Real Thing - 4HIM
   I've been listening to this group since I could talk. one of the best concerts of my life, except they didn't play my FAVORITE 4HIM song [Ride Of Life]
4. Don't Save It All For Christmas Day - Avalon
   truly great non-traditional Christmas song
5. Breaking Free - High School Musical
   yes, I love HSM. don't judge.
6. Tell Him He's Yours - Frank Sinatra & Michael Buble
   I have this great cd that took all of Sinatra's greatest hits and made them into duets with Michael Buble. SO GOOD.
7. Call Your Name - Daughtry
   I like this song because it hasn't been beaten to death on the radio.
8. January Friend - Goo Goo Dolls
   Goo Goo Dolls. a blast from my childhood. and still so good.
9. Jigga What/Faint - Linkin Park & Jay-Z
   I would never have picked those two artists to make a cd together, but it's great. amazing compilations!
10. Softer To Me - Relient K
    my favorite RK song, thanks to my ex. it's a lesser known RK song, but I believe it's one of their best.
11. Two Worlds - Phil Collins
    anyone who knows me probably knows how much I love Phil Collins. anything he's ever done by himself, anything he's ever done with Genesis, anything he's ever done for a Disney movie.. I love it all. this happens to be one of my favorite Disney soundtracks: Tarzan!
12. No Such Thing - John Mayer
    this was our class song in 9th grade. we tried to make it our senior song [at a different school.. yeah, I went to three high schools] but our principal wouldn't let us. apparently "I wanna run through the halls of my high school" wasn't appropriate.
13. Crush - Gavin DeGraw
    GAVIN. one of my greatest musical finds ever. then he had to go and get all well-known. but I knew of him first!
14. Baby - Justin Bieber ft. Ludacris
    if there's a song with a rap section by Luda, I probably have it. oh, and I'm a closet Bieber fan too. sue me.
15. Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey
    this song reminds me of going to the skating rink when I was in elementary school. someone would always request this to be a couples song. -sigh-
16. I Write Sins, Not Tragedies - Panic! At The Disco
    wasn't sure that I'd like P!ATD very much, but Rylan bought the cd and let me borrow it, and I was hooked. the music videos, however, are a completely different story.
17. Why - Nichole Nordeman
    I get chills every time I hear this song. I first heard it when Lauren Parr sang it at high school camp for the talent show and then again a few weeks later at church. it's just so beautiful.
18. Just A Dream - Nelly
    best line of the song: "tried to get my Usher on, but I can't let it burn"
19. Stationary Stationery - Anberlin
    nothing will ever beat "Foreign Language" but this is a good one.
20. Joyful Noise - Flame
    best. dance. ever. I just wish I was a little more coordinated so that I could do it better.
21. Gaston - Beauty and the Beast
    one of the MANY Disney soundtracks that I own.
22. Dream On - GLEE
    I never get tired of this song. Neil Patrick Harris is amazing.
23. Come On Get Higher - Matt Nathanson
    I'm still not sure whether this song has any sexual connotation or not, but I choose to believe it doesn't.
24. Cigarettes Equal Pain - Bill Engvall
    not a song, but the FUNNIEST one off of the whole cd. if you haven't heard this bit, you need to.
25. Ain't No Party - The Chipmunks
    this would be Katie's doing. it's not a road trip if we don't have at least one Chipmunks song. it drove Jona crazy, but I liked it. who wouldn't love those squeaky voices?!

That could've been a lot more random. I don't feel like that was a true shuffle of my library, but oh well.

Read more...

30 Day Challenge: Day 24

Day 24: Something You've Learned

Something I've learned over the past year is that my dreams have changed. Since I was a little girl, I wanted to teach math. The age group that I wanted to teach has changed, ending up at middle school, but math has stayed constant. I have always loved math. It makes sense to me. There is [almost always] a right or wrong answer, but the beauty is that there is generally more than one way to get to that answer.

On the flip side, I always hated science. The irony here is that I took more science classes in high school than any other type. I took gifted biology in 9th, gifted chem in 10th, AP chem in 11th, AP Physics B in 11th, and AP Physics C in 12th. With the exception of biology, there was enough math in each of the other courses for me to figure my way through the class.

And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with science.

I took another physics course in college, and it was no surprise that I excelled in it. Labs were hard, but I succeeded. Then I got into my major, where we have to pick two subject areas to focus on. I'd applied with math and social studies the year before, but my social studies grades were rough, so I tried again with science the second time, since they were all A's. I also took chemistry over the summer and made over a 100 in both the class and the lab. It was a 4 week long course with a quiz every day and a test on Thursday [no class on Friday]. The catch? IT WAS OPEN NOTES. And people STILL failed! How in the world do you fail when it's open notes AAAAANNNNNDDDDD she GIVES. YOU. THE. NOTES.

But alas, I digress. It was after taking this class that I realized that lots of sciences weren't so bad if I could incorporate the math. In fall 2009, we took physics for middle school teachers as well as a methods class to teach us how to teach science to middle schoolers. Basically we got to pretend to be middle schoolers in that class and see different models and experiments that we could use for our students. As someone who'd had several physics classes, I was not stressed at all. I was the only one, however. People were having a hard time with the class, so I tried to help them whenever possible.

They got to pay me back the next semester: earth science. No math whatsoever. I was freaking out. But it ended up being alright. Not just alright.. it was interesting. Fun, even. That was when I decided that I wanted to teach 6th grade [earth science] or 8th grade [physical science] rather than math. I was too afraid that it would screw up my placement in Gwinnett since I would be living at home the next year, so I didn't switch my specializations, intending to just take the GACE in math and science and apply for science jobs.

Then I got into the math classroom in the fall of 2010. What a culture shock. I've struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my life, but it has been under control for the past year and a half: no medicine, no episodes. That all changed. I had a mild panic attack the first time that I got in front of the kids to explain a concept. It was not the "being the center of attention" thing.. I was stressed that I was not explaining myself well enough. Unlike science, it's really hard to vary the way in which you teach math. It is the way it is, and that's that. My teacher said I did fine, my supervisor said I explained things extremely well, and my class's grades were higher than my mentor teacher's other two classes on the test at the end of the unit that I taught. But I can't handle that kind of pressure every day. I won't survive. I wasn't happy. I was stressed and unhappy, eating too much and sleeping too little.

One morning, I arrived before my teacher, so I went next door to the science teacher's room. I felt an immediate peace as I looked around her room at the different signs, diagrams, and objects related to earth science. That's when I knew what I needed to do.

I emailed Dr. Andrews that day and asked what she thought I should do. [background: the way our program is set up, we are ideally supposed to stay in the same classroom from our fall experience during our full-time student teaching in the spring. that way we already know the teacher, some of the student, etc. if I switched specializations, I would need to switch teachers, which would possibly mean that I would have to switch schools. Which would require me to switch counties, and since I'm living at home, this was NOT something I wanted.] Dr. Andrews said that I needed to do what would make me happy. I told her that science would make me happy. So she told me to switch my specializations and that she would do her darnedest to keep me at the same school or at least in the same county, even if it meant teaching in an elementary school.

The whole thing has been a mess ever since, but none of that is my fault or even because I switched specializations. Gwinnett has a lot of red tape to go through, and the contact person at UGA kind of dropped the ball, which has put me and another student teacher WAY behind. The snow week hasn't helped AT ALL. So we'll be starting about 7 days later than we should have, if not more. I still haven't gotten my confirmation about my placement, but I know that everything is working out; it's just paperwork at this point.

I'm gonna be a science teacher. After YEARS of claiming "this is my last science class EVER!" and throwing a mini party. God sure has a sense of humor.

Read more...

30 Day Challenge: Day 23

Day 23: Favorite Vacation

I would love to go with the cliche again and say "DISNEY WORLD!" but I think my favorite vacation was one that we took about 6 years ago. Since 7th grade, I've been allowed to choose one friend to take on our vacations, since my siblings and cousins are so much younger than me. I took Hanna with me to the beach one year, which was fun.. but not the best decision, in hind sight. Hanna didn't like seafood, so going out to eat was hard. But I got better at choosing in the future lol

So in 10th grade, I took Nicole with my family to the beach. The next year, we decided to do something different, so we rented a cabin in the mountains. We went to Gatlinburg and rented a 3-story place. My aunt, uncle, and cousins stayed upstairs, Memama and Pepaw stayed on the main floor, and my family stayed on the lower floor. Nicole and I got a futon, and my brother [he was like 11 at the time] decided to sleep underneath the pool table. Nicole and I got to travel down the Gatlinburg strip, and we went white water rafting one day. That was a BLAST. We did a lot of hiking in different areas. It was great. We ate out a few times, Charles made his famous wings, and we had lots of game time and fun. Oh, and I got to beat up my brother for the first time without repercussions. It was a great trip.

Plus I definitely prefer mountains to the beach.

Read more...

January Bucket List

December wasn't so successful, so I'm gonna put some of last month's onto this month's list.

1. No cokes for a week. This one is gonna happen this time. Day one of seven is almost complete! Sugar-free water flavor packets will be my new best friend.
2. Print pictures for my room. I got a cute new frame from my parents' trip to Disney World, plus my other frames that are sad and empty.
3. Try a new recipe for dinner. I found some really good ones in People magazine that I want to try!
4. Set up a payment plan. I haven't been able to pay my student loan payment in recent months because I've spent $200+ each month in gas to get back and forth to Athens. Lame. I also have lots of money to pay back to my parents from my college years, so I want to figure out the best way to do that. I need to get something on paper though because they tend to say one thing.. then a few days later, they say something COMPLETELY different, so this will help things a lot.
5. Complete 23 Things Before 24 list. I need 6 more things that I want to do before I turn 24 in November.
6. Get more shoes for student teaching. I have one pair of flats that I've used for both semesters of our teaching practicum, and now I have a new pair of short boots. Both pairs of shoes are black, so I need some brown and maybe some grey shoes.
7. Complete teaching resume. I started this last semester, but then the end of the semester hit and CHAOS ensued. I need to finish this and practice interviewing, because I seriously suck at that.
8. Exercise consistently. I don't wanna put a number on how much I exercise, because that's setting me up for failure. If I run a few times a week and do some exercises on the Wii Fit or using Jillian Michaels' DVD, I'll consider it a success.

Read more...

Flashlight 5k

On New Years Eve, I ran the Flashlight 5k last night! I had several goals for the race:

1. Beat my time from last year [41:07]
2. Get a sub-40 time
3. NOT FINISH LAST!

And one that I wouldn't allow myself to make for fear of not making it was to run the whole thing.

I did the first mile with Stephanie, then she needed to walk and I wanted to keep going. So I did. The course was pretty flat, minus the first huge hill at the very beginning. I had already resolved to walk the hill the second time, but the second lap rerouted a bit and didn't include the hill. So on the second lap, I just kept running. I made it to mile 2 and I wasn't tired, so I kept running. Then all of the sudden there was a half mile left, and I was like, "Oh, I've got this!" So I kept running. I came up the last little hill and saw the time sign, just as it turned to 39:00. I thought, "Oh, HECK NO. I'm not gonna get over 40 minutes!" and I kicked it into high gear.

And I finished in 39:19. I completed all of my goals, and then some. I felt amazing. There was a pizza dinner afterwards with salad and a cookie. It was delicious, but I think I could've eaten cardboard and it would've tasted good. Afterwards I went home and got ready for Stephanie's party. We played some Mario Party 8 on the Wii and Guitar Hero on the Xbox, then we counted down to midnight, set off fireworks, and I went home because the lovely TRU gods decided to schedule me at 6am. Yay. I'm ready for these early shifts to be over. Waking up at 7am will seem like a dream instead of a nightmare now.

Read more...

30 Day Challenge: Day 22

Day 22: Favorite City

I know it's so cliche, but my favorite city in the world is New York City. I never had the intense desire to go there like some people do. But in October 2009, my friend Alysha and I went up there for a whirlwind 24 hours. We flew up there on Saturday, after I ran my first ever 5k, and we came back home the next night. Once we got up there, we shuttled over to our hotel, got settled, and asked the hotel receptionist, "what is the ONE place in NYC that you HAVE to go?" and she said, "Times Square."

So we found out how to get to Times Square via shuttles and the subway, and when we first came out from underground, I was overwhelmed. The intensity of the lights was astonishing. The first thing I remember seeing was the Mary Poppins Broadway sign, and I wanted to drop everything and try to get tickets to a show. But I contained myself, and we decided to go ahead and get some food. We went to Planet Hollywood because Alysha had never been, and it was delicious. I had the salmon and rice and a strawberry daiquiri.. yum! Our waitress commented on how nice we were and asked where we were from, so we had to show her a little southern hospitality and gave her an extra large tip ;] it was fun to watch her face when she saw it! After dinner, we walked around Times Square, going into the giant Toys R Us, the M&M store, the Hershey store, perusing the Theater District and drooling over all the shows we wanted to see, and taking tons of pictures.

The next morning, we went to Ground Zero because I really wanted to go. It was kind of a disappointment because they were rebuilding and we couldn't see anything, but it was still pretty powerful. We were going to see A Steady Rain, a FABULOUS two-man play featuring Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig. Oh. Em. Gee. It was seriously amazing. But before we got there, we were running seriously late and were starving, so we literally ran to a pizza place and ate pizza while running to the theater. I managed to stop and get a cute New York bag on the way. The play was so amazing. It was 90 minutes long and over before I knew it. It just captivated me from beginning to end. When the play was over, we had less than an hour to get back to our hotel, get our stuff, and get to the airport to catch our flight, so we were booking it. We caught a cab and made it to our hotel just in time to take the shuttle, checked our luggage and ran to go through the line to get to our gate.. only to find out that our flight had been delayed. We decided to get food while we waited, which was great since we hadn't eaten much that day. We flew home, and the best trip of my life was over.

Read more...