kids have my heart

Lately the subject of children has been coming up amongst my friends and I.  Courtney and I had a discussion one day about how we want to adopt.


In middle school, I decided I was going to adopt teenagers. Yes, teenagers. They are the ones who seldom get adopted. They get neglected and then they get shoved out into the real world when they turn 18. They have no family, nobody who truly loves them or cares for them.


My mindset has changed some, but that initial idea has stuck with me. Though I might not *adopt* teenagers, I've thought that I might like to foster them. I'd give them a home and a family until [if] they get adopted. I don't know that I'd be able to turn them away once they turned 18 if they didn't get adopted though, but I know that the situation would all work out when the time came.


My friend Alysha is adopted, and her parents fostered dozens of kids over the years. That's what I want to do. Every child deserves to be loved, and I have SO much love to give.

I definitely want to adopt though. I know that I am not your average girl. I don't like to shop or dress up or wear makeup. I don't care about shoes or being tan or having the latest fashion trends. And I have never ever had the desire to get pregnant. Some people want nothing more than to make a baby, and that is so great for them.


But I am not one of those people.


I would never wish infertility upon myself incase I change my mind later in life, but [because I don't believe I will] I would gladly be infertile if it meant that someone who wanted to bear children was able to do so. I know this isn't just my decision though. My future husband is going to have to be okay with the possibility that we never have biological children. I'm not saying that it would be a make-it-or-break-it decision in our relationship if he insisted on having biological children or not wanting to adopt, but it would be a serious hurdle that would require extensive discussion for a long time.


This is one of the deepest desires of my heart. I love kids. I love helping kids. I want to be a MIDDLE SCHOOL teacher. That isn't just a career you pick out of a hat. I love watching people's faces when I tell them my major. "Middle school? Why on earth would you want to work with them?" I can't explain it. God has blessed me with a patience and a heart for that age group, and who am I to not use that gift?


I feel like this is becoming incoherent because it's late, but I think I got the point across. I'm gonna be a mom someday, but my kids might not look like me.


And I'm completely okay with that.