Getting a Jump on Things in 2014

I recently finished my "26 Before 27" list, and one of the items on there is to volunteer somewhere. I decided to combine that goal with another goal, run a 5k every month.

So I started looking at races for upcoming months, trying to find one race that I would like to participate in and another race that I would like to volunteer with. I don't have a volunteer race for January, but in February, I'm going to volunteer for Run the Reagan. I thought about running that race, but I found another one that was smaller, cheaper, a trail run, and benefited a local high school that one of my friends teaches at, so I decided to just volunteer for RTR.

For March, I'm still looking, but I think I'm going to participate (either run or volunteer) for one at an elementary school near my house. April, on the other hand, is jam-packed. I've got the Color Run (duh, running) the first weekend, MS Walk in Marietta the second weekend (either walking with work group or volunteering), possibly volunteering for an event that some of my coworkers are doing the third weekend, and MS Walk in Atlanta the last weekend (either walking with work group or volunteering, whichever I didn't do for the walk in Marietta). And then in May, I don't know what event I'm running, but I'm DEFINITELY volunteering for Bubble Palooza at the Gwinnett County Fairgrounds. I think I read somewhere that volunteers get to participate too, but either way, YES. It's basically Color Run + BUBBLES. Who could say no to that?!

Another thing on my list was to find a church that fits all of my needs. I've been looking around for awhile, but most churches have done away with "singles/20s and 30s/post grad/etc" groups. And even more have done away with your typical "Sunday School" type setting and gone more towards "small groups" and such, which makes it harder to meet people sometimes. But I decided to bite the bullet and sign up for a 20s and 30s community group through Grace Fellowship Church. The group meets in my town on Thursday evenings, and I believe it's co-ed, which is a huge draw over 12Stone. Don't get me wrong; I LOVED my small groups and the girls that I met through them. But I want to meet guys too. I know what you're thinking, but trust me, this isn't about dating. At least, it's not *just* about dating. I'd be lying if I said that thought didn't cross my mind. My main desire is for fellowship. I haven't had a good group of guy friends since high school. Even the ones in college turned out to be more of acquaintances than friends (unless it suited them, but that's a whole different story). So we'll see what happens with the community group.

I'm also going to try out the church. If all else fails, I could still do 12Stone as my church and Grace for community groups, but I'd like to just have one church. It sure would make it easier. Beggars can't be choosers though, I guess.

I haven't cooked as much as I'd hoped to (at least, not for myself. I cooked a good bit for Melissa, Russell, and Baby-To-Be-Named-Later/Rhubard/Indiana/Kendra-Flowers/StacheJr this weekend), BUT I did try this amazing tortellini bake recipe. I was a little bit skeptical at first, because I usually just cook tortellini and throw pasta sauce on it, but I am telling you, baking it made all the difference. Even if I hadn't put the cheese on top, the baking really infused the flavor. I will never cook tortellini the same (old) way again. And it was super quick and SUPER easy. It will most likely become a staple recipe in my house for when I don't feel like really cooking.

Read more...

No More Hiding

I wish I could say that I have been feeling convicted lately, but I don't think you could call it that. I don't even know where to start with this.

I am scared to death to post this blog. But I am more scared of something else: not experiencing God.

The following contains portions from my journal this evening combined with my additional thoughts:

Today I started reading a book that I got at Books For Less a few months back, "Searching For A God You're Supposed To Have Found" by Ben Windle. Within the first three pages, I was on the verge of tears. I had to close the book to avoid crying so that I could continue to read without salty water obstructing my vision.

I have been in denial for so long.

I grew up in church. I was constantly active in the youth group. I wore WWJD bracelets and FCA shirts. I led an AWANA group. I went on retreats. I went to Christian concerts. I highlighted my Bible and wrote verses on index cards to post in my room, locker, and binders. I led prayers in Sunday School. I WAS IN A CHRISTIAN SORORITY.

Yet I fooled everyone. Or maybe I didn't. Maybe some of you knew. But I certainly fooled myself.

I knew about God. I knew verses and stories and songs. I knew that I was a Christian.

But I didn't KNOW God.

I haven't even finished the first chapter yet, but I have to get this out. I have to process it. A part of the chapter talked about anger and jealousy towards people who weren't raised in the church, who come to church and immediately experience God. Yet I, who grew up on the front row, literally, had not had that experience. I know who He *is* but don't KNOW Him.

Last summer, I was in a small group with some girls from my spring small group and some guys from another small group. One night after group, Kelly and I went to Chick-Fil-A for a late dinner. We talked about something that I had not, and until now have not, admitted to anyone: I was jealous of people who had these huge defining moments in their walk with Christ. I didn't have this big "A-HA!" moment. I grew up knowing about God and about Jesus and what He did for me on the cross. But to see people come from a non-church background and experience Jesus.. I was so envious. Why couldn't I have an experience like that?

The funny thing was that Kelly felt the opposite: she was jealous that I'd spent my entire life knowing about Jesus. I didn't understand, because her relationship felt more real than mine. I can't explain it. It's a feeling. A sorrow in my heart. I can't begin to explain that feeling. Perhaps one day I'll understand it, but for now, it is what it is. Moving on...

I think part of what has held my back in the past is fear of what others will think. I'm "supposed" to already know God... what will they think?! Will they judge me? Shun me? Ridicule me?

But I should've known better. My family, my friends, the people that love me, won't care about the past but will REJOICE in my new future!

"Because the concept of God is so clear in their mind, their knowledge of God and the Bible can be mistaken for a personal relationship with God."

Guilty, party of one.

James tells us "Even the demons believe!" Belief is not enough. There MUST be more.

"Don't let the door mat become your bed." Jesus says, "Knock, and the door shall be opened unto you." But an open door is useless unless you walk through it. Go in. Sit down with Jesus. Get to know Him. What have I been waiting for?

The end of the chapter talks about Gideon. God had parted the Jordan River and led the Israelites out of oppression. Joshua took 12 stones from the river and set up memorials with the stones. Years later, the older generations saw the stones and remembered, vividly, what God had done. But Gideon had no memory of the event. He was not tied to it. It wasn't real to him. And that wasn't enough for him. He wasn't content with just the stories. He wanted to experience God for himself. And he did. His faith helped deliver his people from the Midianites.

I'm not afraid of what people think of me anymore. I'm only afraid of not experiencing God.

Read more...